signs and wonders

i have prayed for approximately, say, 8,057 things that haven’t happened. it is a mystery beyond my comprehension. i think that there are some explanations though, which either support the notion that the fairy tale has penetrated the depths of me, or on the opposite end of the spectrum, perhaps support some knowledge of a living God.

if it is just a fairy tale, which is certainly in some realm of possibility, then i would certainly only listen to and accept information that aligned with my pre-conceptions. i can also see that there is an equal likelihood that i simply drift away from the spiritual for such extended periods and become so obsessed with the material, physical realm that my prayers are essentially to a CEO.

this is interesting, from the book The Blessed Life:

“My old nature used to try to figure out how I could manipulate circumstances in my favor. Of course, that’s the attitude of a taker, not a giver. Selfishness tries to manipulate God or “make deals” with Him where giving is concerned. But a liberal-hearted person gives quickly and generously because he knows it all belongs to God, and he trusts God to take care of him and bless him.”

so, to take my best guess…there are things that we want that are not always going to come to pass in an imperfect, mortal world. what about the things we pray for that certainly seem to match up with what a loving God would provide, yet do not come to pass? i’m not going to pretend to have that figured out. but i stopped caring for a long time and don’t have much to show for that either, so i chose to care again and see what happens.

~ by jaybol on August 13, 2007.