get inside

don’t be disillusioned, don’t be concerned, don’t speak with that tone.
just put your head down and shut up, lock your door.
don’t make your concerns (which we told you not to have) into someone else’s problem.
please sign here, and let our free service keep track of what you like in case you forget.
we will be happy to do this for you, and will never share your information unless we deem it necessary for your safety.

please also keep your game face on.
no one likes to be around upset people or people who want to talk.
you have six bullets a year, so use them with discretion…and don’t point them at people, they are for food.
please work harder for the greater good.

protect your identity for as little as $4.99/month.
be more human for only $19.99/month.
be a human prototype/object of envy for a mere $27.99/month.
own a human prototype/be the object of said prototype’s envy for a paltry $59.99/month.
own a refurbished human prototype for $39.99/month (which is far less than mortal human butlers cost !)

failure to wear seatbelt punishable by up to $50,000 fine for first offense.
second offenders will be subjected to death by firing squad.

new rules and/or interpretations of law are released at noon daily.
ex post facto laws are now allowed at all levels.

have a great day!

~ by jaybol on August 11, 2007.

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