What shade is that?

The shade left of happy is the one where things are really good and we know this on some level yet have strange addictive habits that are fun and entertaining, like drinking wine by yourself, but somehow cause intense anxiety, both when one is partaking and when one is not, for when you are not partaking you are dreaming of the next time that you can have sex, check your stocks, drive slightly drunk in the daytime while amazing spatters of beats cause the hills to come alive…but the place that becomes a refuge is usually not conventional. It is a desk, or the bathroom or behind the wheel, and it seems to contain the most optimistic moments and the purest moments of thoughts both virtuous and vile, but real and mine and mine alone.

~ by jaybol on January 22, 2005.

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